BAck to School Hurricane Season '08

Back to School or Not September in the tropics means more rain. The hurricane season has spun waves of big powerful thunderstorms from Corn Island in the Caribbean across Lago Cocibolca to the Pacific, across the width of Nicaragua. I believe over 20 this season…The garden is in hyper grow mode, lots of fruits and flowers. The birds call dibbs on the ripe red pitayas from the tree top and all that drops from the tree is scaly empty hulls. The eight foot tall accidentally chili arbor has hundreds of plump round peppers. About the size of a BB. They defy the chili rule "The Smaller the Pepper the Hotter". They have some bite but thay are non lethal. A pair of bright yellow FlyCatchers visit daily. They call out in defiance and in front of me and often my raptor cat, just feet away while the two dive bomb and roll in the tree. They break off whole sections and then alit and eat in the overhanging orange tree branches. Drives PeeWee the carnivore cat crazy…….This morning nature called pre dawn and I got out of bed to pee. I think turning on bright lites at night wakes me up so I clicked the back patio lite, dark in the bathroom but serviceable. My eyes get a little crusty from allergies this time of year and I wanted to wash them off. Glancing at the tiny little bathroom sink, I thought there was some thing laying in the sink but it wasn't till I turned on the water that the friggen BAT blew up in my face…YIKES…lights on! He was trying to escape down the drain hole. He had a compound fracture on his wing and was waiting for the end. I have a ¾ wall around the bath and he must have clipped the wall and hit the kohler. . The rubber plug was blocking his path down the drain and the cat didn't know he was there, so I left him till morning. In the morning he was cold ,looking like a drain pug with a tail. I left him out front for the ferals and it was gone shortly….. Almost all working Nicas get paid on the 15 and 30th of the month, so most months the number of casual street vendors go way up twice a month. Handi Crafts, Home Made Ice Cream, throw rugs and lite bulbs.. My old neighbor takes his deluxe vintage chrome maybe even medical bath room scale up to the corner and charges people 6 Cents US to use it. He charged me 12 cents and like always I only understood half of most conversations I believe he tagged me double for being over 100Ks, but I happy as a calm to be losing weight…I get better lookin every day.. A lady was walking down my street last Sunday Morning shouting ESCoooooBas!!…ESCoooooBas!!…Llevo ESCOBAAAS…selling home made brooms and a luffa like bath mittens. She sold me a three foot wooden mini broom for 10 cords ($0.50). It has a whittled wooden branch handle and some sort of green grass for the bristles tied on with pink plastic twine. It's good for cleaning the over head fan but I am afraid that all the seeds in the grass bristles will sprout when the broom (escoba) gets wet… I was out shopping for a cloths washer last week. There is what they call a Costa Rica type washer that's kind of like the old wringer machines….You are more involved with the process but believe me less involved than by doing it by hand. I had a new lavenderia open right down the street and I was excited to bring my sweaty clothes to a place much much closer and far less gringo centric than my regular Fernanda's on the Calzada. They told me that even tho they had just opened they would be moving at the end of the months. Seems they just realized that their shop was down the alley and on a dead street. I should have taken the hint but I left my clothes any way. I was the only active customer and she suggested I come back later that afternoon. It's hot here in the afternoon. Some times it's so hot you can see it and smell it. Even the heat ripples stay in the shadows. And.. I have adopted the local custom of siesta time. She wanted my 60 cords ($3) to buy dinner but I told her I'd be back tomorrow. I went by after breakfast the next morning, there are no friendlier Nicas than ones that have just started a business. So I chat for a bit, pay up and go home and again look for Nicas in the Olympic Games on tv. She did a swell job, my socks were tv commercial white but they were sooo stretched out I can wear them like a doo rag…I think they washed it all by hand and saved thier old mustard colored US Kenmore Washer for a bigger load. It wasn't till the next morning that I realized my fancy new USA pillow cases were missing.. I went over after coffee and no one was there…busy moving. After a walk and breakfast I went back. Relieved to see that she had my pillow cases. All folded and smelling like grandma…She had passed them to a gringo who had kindly returned them while on the quest for his missing pants.. He was in a foul mood and short on Spanish skills. I can sound like I know how to speak Spanish and locals tend to think I can under stand them when I comprehend less than half of most most of what I hear. She ranted at me for a bit…She was sure that I accidentally was in possession of the missing gringo standard issue 42' pair of tan cargo shorts and there was only one way thru the language barrier, I took her to my house and we double checked and still no missing cortas. She was upset because the gringo had accused her of stealing his pants. He threatened to file a denuncia with the police. And she said why should I steal his pants when I charge him 20C to wash them? I saw the old crusty gringo with the bad attitude and missing pants the next day loitering at a reputed Pedophile Perch chatting with turtle man and the cowboy. And the owner wonders why she doesn't get more gringo action…I rarely have reason to speak with any of this pack of pervs…Some times I go the long away around my block or even the wrong way a block just to avoid the head nod. It doesn't take long living here to realize that just being from the same country don't make any one buddies. But he was standing outside and not really inside this chicken hawk roost. I asked old man Cranky about his missing shorts, he bellows SHORTS.. it was f*ckng long pants….Like the ones on the laundry ladies front counter???? How do you say jerk in Spanish? Anyway, that's why I was looking at washers. My favorite is from China (duh?) and it is Fuzzy Logic brand…What a country, you should see the info-mercials….Siempre a locura en esta pais, pues mis amigos, debo irme….hasta pronto…adios……Next time; shopping at the fancy new super Mercado, why do Nicas have such crappy taste in retro 80s pop music, why the sudden surge in nostalgic red metal hot dog carts on the street and where did all these old gray haired horn dogs come from?